Goody Goody Gumdro.......

Welcome fellow, bloggers, today I am here to tell you about what I did for writing this week.  This week we did the same as last week, remember we tasted some ice cream which was vanilla flavour and we had to write about it.  So this week we tasted the flavour called Goody Goody gumdrops, which wasn't really y favourite, because it had hard lollies. 

So this week (again) we had to write a draft then we had to then get and give feed back and then do our final draft. 

Here is my draft:
As I looked through the heart throbbing ice cream, I felt a shirll all through my body.  I scooped I bit out, it looked like a bright pastel wall.  Inside the cup was malachite world of wonder, there were candy drops, they looked like a blessing rainbow.  As I plopped the spoon in my mouth, it slowly liquefied inside my mouth.  It tasted like mint with a hint of bubblegum, the sublime taste of the nectarios ice cream.  I plopped some of the formidable gummy into my mouth, it was as hard as a stone wall.  The ice cream smelt like bubble gum the smell tantalizing I felt like I was in a whole different world.

Here is the feedback Mikayla gave me:
This is amazing Lyan I don't think you need to do anything but I love the part when you say*As I looked through the heart throbbing ice cream, I felt a shirll all through my body* keep up the great work.

So then here is my Final draft:
As I looked through the heart throbbing ice cream, I felt a shrill all through my body.  I scooped I bit out, it looked like a bright pastel wall.  Inside the cup was malachite world of wonder, there were candy drops, they looked like a blessing rainbow.  As I plopped the spoon in my mouth, it slowly liquefied inside my mouth.  It tasted like mint with a hint of bubblegum, the sublime taste of the nectarios ice cream.  I plopped some of the formidable gummy into my mouth, it was as hard as a stone wall.  The ice cream smelt like bubble gum the smell tantalising I felt like I was in a whole different world.  

I hope you like reading my story/paragraph, if somethings wrong please do not hesitate to comment down below.

The taste of heaven - Writing

This week for writing we get to do something amazing, we had to taste an ice cream then write about what it tastes, smell and looks.  So our teacher got us to taste the ice cream and then write our it.  First we did a draft then we got feedback from our buddies.

So here's my draft:
As I peeled through the foil, a wonderful smell of bliss came out like a cheetah racing through the spoilt grass of Africa. I grabbed my stick, and gently scooped through the satiny and tepid ice cream, it was as soft as a bunny.  I gently plopped the ice cream inside my mouth, it slowly liquefy as I swallowed it, it tasted like citrus with a hint of milk I felt like I was in soaring through heaven.  The creaminess of the ice cream spread through my mouth like wildfire.  Scooping another amount of ice cream, ice cream inside made me feel I was eating the deliciousness of a whip cream.  As I took the last bite of the deliquesce, it felt like I was chewing marshmallows.  

Here is the feed back:

Hey lyan this is amazing I like part when you said (As I peeled through the foil, a wonderful smell of bliss came out like a cheetah racing through the spoilt grass of Africa.)

It is very creative I don’t think you need to do anything.

Here is my final:

As I peeled through the foil, a wonderful smell of bliss came out like a cheetah racing through the spoilt grass of Africa. I grabbed my stick, and gently scooped through the satiny and tepid ice cream, it was as soft as a bunny.  I gently plopped the ice cream inside my mouth, it slowly liquefy as I swallowed it, it tasted like citrus with a hint of milk I felt like I was in soaring through heaven.  The creaminess of the ice cream spread through my mouth like wildfire.  Scooping another amount of ice cream, ice cream inside made me feel I was eating the deliciousness of a whip cream.  As I took the last bite of the deliquesce, it felt like I was chewing marshmallows.

I hope you like reading my writing.

Writing - Respect

Welcome, it is Term 1, and I am pumped up to do some writing.  This week and last week we worked on writing how the All Blacks are showing respect to the Wallabies.  We had to get in 2 or 3 groups and give them feedback on their writing, after they have finished their draft.  So one I finished my draft I gave feedback to my group, and they gave feedback to me, to tell be what can i improved on.  So they gave me the feedback and on my final draft I improved.

Here is my draft:

After a impressive game, the Wallabies and All Blacks all gather up together as a group to shake hands and to congratulate each other.  The All Blacks happily congratulated the Wallabies and looked each other in the eye, with the up most respect.  They stand tall with pride and with the correct uniform.  

This is my groups feedback to me:

Very nice Lyan, there is just some lines that don't make sense. But besides that it great keep up the great work lyan.

I like this Lyan and I do agree with Mikayla there is a couple of sentences that need a little bit more changing but besides that great work!

This my final copy:

After a impressive game, the Wallabies and All Blacks all gather up together and congratulated each other.  The All Blacks happily congratulated the Wallabies and looked each other in the eye, as they shake their hands.  They stand tall with pride and with the correct uniform, with the up most respect for the other team.

If you have anymore feedback, please do not hesitate, to write it on the comment section below.

Have a great day!

SCHOOL IS HEREEE!!!!

School is finally here, tomorrow I am starting intermediate.  I hope everyone has a good luck on their first day of school.  

THE 2017 WRAP UP!

It's a little bit late for this wrap up, beacuse it is already 2018, but we still got time right.  It is also my last year in Hornby Primary.  So lets get started on Term 1, let's see what did happen in term 1, well let's go and see.

Term 1: 

In Term 1, we visited Spencer park to do some activities, and collect some things for our treasure art back at school.  I was really excited since we were also gonna go to the beach.  But whne it started my group didn't get to collect any since the teacher that was with us thought we were gonna go back again.  We also got to play on the park play volleyball and explore.  So when we got back to school my group had to go and collect some at school.  So I picked everything and started on my art, after I finished it which was in about 2 days it looked like this. 

Reading; In reading for term 1 we learned about the Maori traditional games, we had to get in group of 2 and pick which game you would like to do.  My partner and I did a DLO revolving around how to make string figures, like a broomstick our DLO turned out like this.  

We also did some traditional and cultural dances, like the "Samoan Sasa" and the "Super Haka with the Ti Rakau Sticks".  

Term 2:

In Term 2 we did a mystery research, there we here a lot of topic, so first what we did was we had to pick a topic and do some research about it.  Then after the research we had to get in groups and create some about the topic.  My topic was about Easter Island, Easter Island's mystery was the statue's called Moai.  We also had to write speeches about our creations. My group did a whole island made out of cardboard.  We also made a mountain out of paper mache it was really fun and also very challenging.

We also did a lot of activities on our topic like a timeline. But the main mystery in Easter Island was how the Moai/statue's was built.  Eventually we didn't find out the answer.

Term 3:
Term 3 was an amazing term we had an extravaganza, the year 6's was lucky to have an extravaganza since the other year 6's didn't have one.  So our theme was NZ Past to present, and my class did NZ Music Month.  We listened to some music from the 1900's to 2000's, then we had to pick which song are we going to and then get into groups.  I pick 6 months in a leaky boat, the music was good and the tune was also very good, it was also easy to dance to.  Then at the end of our performance we had to get on the stage again and the most voted song which is called Why does love do this to me.  So then we had to dance to it.  It was a fun and crazy performance.  So then I had another performance and it was about culture, I had a group, amd we dance Tinikling (from Philippines),
(Sorry Don't have any pictures)

We also learned something about binary numbers.

Reading: In reading we did a novel study there were 4 choices. Holes, Among the hidden, Freak the might, Number the Stars.  I picked Among the hidden because it had a very attractive tittle.  So then we had to do some activities like doing a character description and many other things we had to finish our reading early because of the extravaganza. 

Term 4:
Term 4, which is in the season of summer, that means there is swimming.  So first we are going to Canterbury Swim School for swimming lesson.  We did that for 2 weeks and then took swimming lessons at school.

We also had an Athletics day, there were basic activities like sprints and high jump.  I put up a post about this, here is a link. 

Writing:
In writing we had to pick a topic of our own and do some research about your topic I picked pyramids.  So then it probably took about 3-4 weeks to complete the whole research.  

3 ~ 2 ~ 1!!!!

START THE COUNTDOWN 3 - 2 -1!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, everyone, let's say a big farewell to 2017, and a Hello to 2018.  I will really miss 2017 because a lot of amazing things happened and I also met some amazing people. We all still have a few more weeks until Term 1 of school starts, so lets enjoy or holiday until we can.

Please have a Happy new year and get ready for back to school!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas,

Merry Christmas, everyone school had just ended and now it is time for the summer holidays.  I wish every a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.