Replay, Again and again

For this week's writing we watched a video called Replay and it is about a apocalyptic world.  There were a sister and brother who survived the tragic thing.  So we had to write a story about the story, the story was very very sad.  I hope you will like reading my story, have a great day and Bye!

W.A.L.T: To write a story in the eyes of one character. 

I know I will be successful when I can…..

• Write a first person diary entry.

• Use a range of language features.
• Express ideas in correct paragraphs.
• Expand on ideas and use interesting sentence starters.

Reflective Comment: I think I did pretty well in my story. What I need to do is to put in more juicy words as maybe it might be boring.

Date: 4th October 3025

Time: 1:00 pm

If you are reading this please note that this is a secret, so while reading it, be sure not to cry.

Dear Diary,

Day 12 of survival.

I was just waiting here, in my bedroom.  The name was Daniel, we lived in a mephitic town.  Our town was in an apocolypse. None of us can breathe through the deadly air.  But I was lucky, lucky I was living in a little underground house.  My sister always used to go out into that deadly world, to collect stuff to keep.  In our little house we kept some devices left around, some food and my sister got a coffee machine.

 My mum and my dad, sadly didn’t survive the apocalypse, so they saved us instead of them.  That’s when my sister learned how to go outside and collect stuff that we need.  She also learned how to turn the oxygen button on her machine.  Hopefully some other people survived, as we are the only ones living here.  

Writing in my diary was the only way to not get bored from waiting, waiting for my sister to arrive.  As I heard footsteps arriving, I then got excited, she was back, I kept saying in my head.  She opened the door, I rushed to her.

Her name was Rose.  “Rose you're here!” I said.  Rose took out her bag and dipped her hand inside she showed this cool thing, I didn’t know what it was or what to do with it.  “Now I think this will excite you.” She said.  Then she gave me it,  it was like a flashlight, it flashes of this amazing tune of light.  I was playing with it, when she had something in her hand what was it? She played it, it looked like some tape recorder.  It said “Do you want to play with us?”  I asked her to play it again, “Show me! Lend it to me! Turn it on again!” I begged.  “Next time I will go with you.”   

She put the tape recorder in the top shelf of the cabinet, that way I couldn’t reach it.  “Isn’t time for you to go to bed?” Rose asked.  “Alright.” I said.  I walked up to the bed sad and anxious.  While the night was rolling I started to plan how to get the tape recorder and get outside in that deadly place.  I will see how we go, tomorrow.

Date: 5th October 3025

Time: 5:00 am

Dear Diary,

Day 13 of survival.

I just woke up from the aesthetic sleep, it was now time, Rose will be probably be still asleep.  I grabbed the spare machine and carefully walked up the stairs.  As I was walking I put on the machine I didn't really know what it was, but I learnt how to use it.  

I was know ready, ready to go in the frightening world.  But I remembered the tape recorder, I forgot to get it.  I hurried since my sister was about to wake up, I climbed up the table and got the tape recorder.  I then rushed, up the stairs and through the breathing compact.  That’s when my journey started.

Walking through the depths of the apocalyptic road, the road was sandy and I knew the air was deadly.  Walking through the neglected town, it was like walking through ghost town.  The town looked as if there were zombies that visited.  I walked around the town, the town was empty if I could, I could call it a wasteland.  I looked around the place, holding the tape recorder.  I played it and walked up to a pool or something like that.  

Then the tape recorder made some car sound, I saw the car, it was broken down and torn apart.  Secondly I heard a loud dinging and donging sound from the lanky tower.  I was hoping my sister wouldn’t find out that I have gone here.  I was walking through the empty streets, looking around I walked.  I went straight into this school gate, in front was a torn down  playground.  

Looking around the playground, it felt as if all the kids died.  Walking around the frayed playground was a pain, just remembering all the good memories.  I was walking towards the wrecked Mary-go-round.  I touched it and spun it, I decided to sit down as I was going to play the tape recorder.  I was hearing all sorts of sounds, I can hear laughs and kids playing around.

I spun the merry go round around, then something amazing happened, there were kids that was playing in the nearby tree.  I looked at the, it seems as they are making a paper airplane.  They were finished with it, they were mumbling, they stood up and the girl throwed it up into the air. It flowed into the baby blue sky, I tried to touch it but I couldn’t seems like I was a ghost.  It crashed into a window, Looked at them and they were huddling like a team talk.  

I touched my goggle and my mask, thinking about taking it off.  The suddenly it hit me, I took my goggles off.  Looking at them, I threw my goggles on the ground and…..  started to take my mask off, I took it off and breathed in the deadly air.  Now I felt my leg which was cut off, return, everything was turning colourful and brand new.  The trees was turning into luscious green leaves and the buildings was turning into shiny, glossy walls.

Then I heard this “Do you want to play with us?” They both said.  I smiled and I ran to the window where that crashed airplane was.  Ran back to them, I was so excited.  Then with a flash of light…..  Now I think I am in the world of dead, it seemed so good.  How would my sister react to this? Well I guess this is the end…